Crazy China

After a few months of advanced ethnography of the Chinese population, let me summarise for you in a few points the cultural clash that us, expats in Shanghai, live every day…

Sustainability first 

Fact #1: Chinese people are environmentally friendly. Or not.

Everything is individually packaged, from toilet rolls to flowers. Here, if the streets are super clean it’s not because people are well educated like in The Netherlands, it’s because there is an army of street cleaners — who are payed close to nothing. Here, so long recycling! So long different-colour trash bags…everything ends up in the same bin.

Global marketing at its best

Fact #2: if its sounds western, it sells. At the supermarket you’ll have the chance to find a detergent named “Pigeon”, a brand of shampoo called “Sifoné”, or “Descente” apparel. Well, if it sells…After all, Superdry is a purely British brand that has nothing to do with Japan despite it’s heavy use of Japanese graphics and signs.

Yummi!

Fact #3: Chinese people have a mutant stomach.

For instance, we don’t really know if the picture here, taken at the supermarket downstairs, represents the weekly oil supply of a family or of a fried noodle shop….but we don’t really want to find out either.

Coagulated duck blood will find its way in your soup; you will be unable to find something that has not been fried, fried and re-fried (except, maybe, said duck blood) & chicken feet are by no means to be tossed: they are a sought-after snack. Oh and be ready to have a bowl of spicy noodles for breakfast, too.

I think I am in for a colonoscopy next time I come back to Europe. My stomach might already have mutated, though.

At the gym…

Fact #4: in China, sport is “casual”…

First of all, who needs trainers to exercise. Like the lady here, feel free to come to the gym in your high heels, that’s perfectly fine. Secondly, running is vulgar: one WALKS on a treadmill. It’s so much better to walk inside rather than in the polluted city. Then again, forget about gym gear: jeans and a button-down will do just fine.

Lastly, when you go into the lockers, ladies, take a deep breath. Intimacy and reserve are inexistent: when you get changed, you go all out and hang about naked as long as you need to. I have no visual proof I’m afraid…

Flawless style

Fact #5: Chinese people have taste.

They will tell you that you are the one dressing in a very boring way, but do take it as a compliment, because to them, fashion means:

  • Wearing Winnie the Pooh slippers in the tube (photo)
  • Going grocery shopping in a Mickey Mouse fleece pyjama
  • Matching a stripped shirt with polka dots trousers, Crocs and flowery gloves (what looks nice on its own, looks nice with anything!)
  • Wearing heels so high you can only walk like a duck
  • Having skirts so short that they are actually belts (I guess it’s to make up for the inability to wear low cuts…you make do with what you have)
  • Own a real Louis Vuitton bag when you make €400/month
  • Sport FAKE Vuitton bags, Prada glasses, Jimmy Choo shoes and a Guess belt…well, because the fake market is around the corner.

Here are a few pointers of what to expect if you plan on coming and visit in Shanghai. Those who’ve come already can testify. I also wanted to say a word about politeness, but I think I will need a whole post just for that. Freedom of speech could also be a theme, but I would not want my blog to be blocked by the government (there, I already said too much).

I hope you enjoyed the read and the glimpse into Chinese culture!

4 thoughts on “Crazy China”

  1. Trop vrai Lau !!!

    Alors je peux affirmer que des chinois se promènent en pijama en pilou rose avec des nounours en pleine rue ! Juste trop fashion quoi !
    Et puis même si ici (en Belgique) les Uggs n’ont pas envahis nos rues cet hivers, à Shanghai chaque chinois en possédait au moins 3 paires (of course pour changer de couleur et d’être en non-concordance avec sa tenue).

    En ce qui concerne la politesse, les bousculades pour monter dans le métro, la non utilisation de mouchoirs, etc. Je laisse à Laurence le plaisir de nous faire sourire encore une fois !

  2. Petit update sur les noms de marques débiles: la crème pour le corps “Relachée”. True story. Je croyais que les crèmes c’était pour raffermir…Ou alors ce n’est pas une crème hydratante en fait…?

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